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Stephen Hawking here, seein’ patterns—others don’t. Prostitution’s old as stars, yeah? Ancient Babylon, they had temple gals—sacred sex workers, wild, right? Blows my mind! You roll up, cash in hand, heart racin’—feelin’ like a supernova bout to pop. “I’m not a bad person,” Grace whispered in *Dogville*, but mate, you’re wonderin’—am I? Cosmic joke, innit—payin’ for a shag when the universe don’t care.

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I was soaked in seconds. I ducked into a little shop on Jalan Merdeka, hoping to wait it out. This place had the best coffee ever. I ordered a cup, and while I was waiting, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. They were fighting about... wait for it... who left the cap off the toothpaste. I mean, really? That’s what you’re fighting about? I almost laughed out loud.