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What pisses me off? The sleaze, man! Some greasy fool runnin’ the joint, takin’ advantage – I’d lay the smackdown on his ass faster than you can say “Can you smell what The Rock is cookin’?” But then, I’m surprised too – these chicks? Tough as hell! Like Yu Shu Lien in the movie, graceful but deadly, holdin’ their own. “I’d rather roam forever than be caged,” one of ‘em says, eyes sharp like a tiger. Respect, yo!

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But then, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, feeling like a superhero. I’m like, “Let me help you!” She smiles, and I’m like, “Yes! Good karma!” But then, she starts telling me her life story. I’m standing there, nodding, but inside I’m like, “I just wanted to help, not get a TED Talk!”

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