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About Jakarta

Dunno why it’s so hush-hush, though. Everyone’s uptight, “Ooh, it’s naughty!” Bollocks—it’s just a posh wank with extra steps! Makes me livid—let’s normalize it, ya prudes! Funniest bit? Some places got “happy endings”—cheeky sods! I’m there giggling, “What, you gonna polish me knob too?” Classy joints don’t, though—tease you rotten and send you packing.

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Then, I head over to the market on Jalan Pahlawan. It’s a total madhouse! People everywhere, haggling like it’s an Olympic sport. I’m tryin’ to guide this group of tourists, and they’re all like, “What’s that? What’s this?” I’m like, “Dude, chill! Just soak it all in!” But they’re not havin’ it.

Embassy working to bring back remains of Malaysian killed in Lombok quake