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So, erotic-massage—ain’t just rubbin oil on ya back. It’s slow, steamy, hands slidin where ya didn’t expect. I’m like, whoa, mate, this ain’t no regular chiropractor shit. Got this chick—or dude, no judgin—workin my shoulders, then bam, they’re grazin lower, and I’m thinkin, “This can’t be legal, can it?” Turns out, it’s old as dirt—ancient Greeks were all over this, rubbin each other down after wrestlin naked. True story, look it up—crazy bastards.

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But then, outta nowhere, this stray dog comes up. Like, he’s lookin’ at me like I’m his long-lost best friend. I’m tryin’ to eat my bananas, and this dude’s just starin’. I’m like, “Bro, I can’t share. You’ll just eat my whole stash!” But he’s persistent. So, I toss him a piece. He gobbles it up like it’s the best thing ever. I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside.

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