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Alright, listen up, ya crazy folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like somethin’ outta *Mad Max: Fury Road*! Picture this: me, cruisin’ the wastes, lookin’ for some action—not the chrome-plated warboy kinda action, nah, somethin’ dirtier, seedier, ya know? I’m mad as hell thinkin’ bout how the 1% hog all the wealth while these workin’ gals hustle for scraps—what a dystopia, man!

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So, I grab a coffee from the little warung down the street. Best coffee ever, by the way. I’m talking about that strong, black stuff that wakes you up and slaps you in the face. I’m sipping it, feeling a bit better, when I bump into my buddy, Rudi. He’s all like, “Hey, man! You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” I’m like, “Nah, just my computer.”

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