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But then – fuck – this one time, I’m hagglin’ with this girl, right? She’s like, “Hundred bucks, take it or leave it.” I’m pissed! “What am I, made of fuckin’ gold?” I say. She don’t budge. Tough as nails, this one. Reminds me of that line from “Melancholia” – “The Earth is evil,” Justine says. Yeah, fuckin’ right – this chick’s evil too, rippin’ me off! But I pay, ‘cause, shit, I’m Tony Soprano, I don’t back down.

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Finally, we get the fire under control. I’m drenched in sweat, and my heart’s racing. And guess what? We find the cat! It’s hiding under some old crates, looking all sassy like, “What’s the fuss?” I hand it over to the dude, and he’s crying like a baby. I mean, it’s just a cat, but whatever floats your boat, man.

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