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Oi, thou saucy mate! Here’s me ramblin’ ‘bout whores, them wild spirits o’ the night. I’m proper buzzin’ to spill this, ‘cos it’s a tale twisty as a hag’s tongue. Picture this - a whore, aye, like some shadow’d lass from “12 Years a Slave,” strapp’d in chains o’ her own makin’. “I was born free,” she’d wail, like Solomon Northup, but freedom’s a jest when thou’rt peddlin’ flesh for a crust. ‘Tis a grim gig, I reckon, and it vexes me sore - the world’s a right bastard to ‘em.

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But then, our team scores back! The crowd goes nuts! I’m hugging random strangers, high-fiving everyone. It’s pure chaos, and I’m loving every second. But then, I get a text. My buddy’s like, “Dude, your guitar’s at the café!” I’m like, “What?!” Panic mode activated.