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About Semarang

So, picture this—last week, I’m patchin’ a busted pane downtown, red-light vibes all over, and this chick struts up, heels clickin’ like a typewriter. “Need a date, hon?” she says, smirkin’. I’m like, lady, I’m elbow-deep in caulk, not desperation! Made me laugh, tho—balls on her, hittin’ on a sweaty dude with a putty knife. Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t that lonely! Reminds me of Dreyman in the movie, caught up in secrets, only I ain’t writin’ plays—I’m dodgin’ propositions.

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I find a café, and it’s packed. I squeeze in, order a coffee, and start typing. But the Wi-Fi? It’s slower than a turtle on a lazy day. I’m getting frustrated. I mean, come on! I’m in Tanggulangin, not the Stone Age!

Tessier’s five-step extraction flow chart.