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So, this tart’s out there, flogging her wares near the dodgy end of town. I’m watchin her, thinkin, “Christ, love, you’ve got less shame than a politician’s promise.” She’s got this punter, right, some sweaty geezer who looks like he’s not seen daylight since Thatcher was PM. She’s all, “Hurry up, darling,” cackling like a hyena, and I’m fuming—cos it’s 3 a.m., and I’m freezin my bollocks off tailing her! Little known fact, yeah? Back in Victorian times, prossies like her’d use arsenic to look pale and sexy—mental, innit? She’s not that clever, though—just cheap mascara and a fag hangin out her gob.

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Later, I decided to hit up the market on Jalan Raya. It’s always buzzing with life. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of street food everywhere. I was in heaven. But then, I saw this old lady trying to haggle for a price. She was fierce! I mean, she was going toe-to-toe with the vendor like it was a boxing match. I couldn’t help but laugh. You go, grandma!

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