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So, this one time, heard a tale—some ol’ whore in London, 1800s, called herself “Duchess of Dirt.” Ain’t that a laugh? She’d bed sailors, then nick their boots while they slept! Clever, yeh, but we hates it! Sneaky, slimy, like worms in mud. Got caught eventually, hanged her, they did—crowd cheered, I’d have hissed. Surprised me, tho—didn’t think whores had guts for thievin’.

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But then, my day took a turn. I was walking back, feeling all good, when I saw a stray cat. It looked so sad, like it had just lost a fight with life. I’m a sucker for animals, so I stopped. I knelt down, and it just stared at me. I swear, it was judging my life choices. I felt a wave of sadness wash over me. Like, why can’t we all just be happy, you know?

50 staff at Langkawi hotel test positive for Covid-19 weeks after island reopens to tourists