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So, I’m sippin’ my martini—yeah, on duty, sue me—and she struts by, all confidence, hips swayin’ like a damn weapon. Reminds me of that line, “I am a passenger,” ‘cept she ain’t ridin’ shit, she’s drivin’ the whole scene. Got this vibe, y’know? Like she’s fucked half the coast and don’t care who knows. Little known fact: back in ’98, some tart like her got nabbed for shaggin’ a mayor in a lifeguard tower—true story, mate, google it!

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So, I’m chasing this dog down Jl. Danau Toba, dodging tourists and locals alike. I’m yelling, “Hey! That’s my food!” But the dog? He’s living his best life, just running like he’s in the Olympics or something. I finally catch up, and he just looks at me like, “What’s your problem, human?” I mean, come on!

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