Harper Ubud Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Surabaya

Here’s a kicker – water’s got memory, some nutters reckon. Bollocks or not, I dunno, but I’d love to ram a spoon up their arse and ask! Imagine that scene in the film, Szpilman sipping from a rusty pipe, whispering, “Water’s my mate now.” Pure genius. Oh, and it boils at 100C – basic, but you probly forgot, ya dimwit! Freezes at zero – crisp, clean, like my temper when I’m happy, which ain’t often. Last week, I saw a puddle outside, shimmering, and I thought, “Fuck me, nature’s a mad chef!” Got me grinning like a prat.

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Next, I wander over to the Ubud Art Market. It’s packed! So many colors, so many people. I’m trying to haggle for a sarong, and this lady is relentless. She’s like, “No, no, my friend, this is best price!” I’m like, “Best price? I can get it cheaper on the internet!” But I end up buying it anyway. I mean, it’s Ubud, right? Gotta have the local vibes.

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