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Alright, listen up, pal! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here bakin’ bread, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Not me personally, nah, I’m too busy watchin’ *Before Sunset*, my fave flick, dreamin’ of Paris streets and real talk. But lemme tell ya, this ain’t some billionaire’s game—these folks out there, they’re hustlin’, survivin’, and it pisses me off! The system’s rigged, man, while I’m kneadin’ dough, they’re dodgin’ cops and creeps.

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So, I’m cleaning that mess up, and I hear this commotion down by the river. Turns out, there’s a street performer doing some wild juggling act. I mean, this guy’s tossing flaming torches! I’m standing there, half in awe, half thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna set the whole place on fire!” But the crowd’s loving it. I’m laughing, clapping, and then—boom! One of the torches goes flying into the crowd. People scatter like ants! Hilarious, but also kinda scary.

Derry make it back-to-back All-Ireland MFC finals after edging Kerry in Mullingar