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Now, I ain’t judgin’—to each his own, darlin’—but it riles me up when folks act all high and mighty ‘bout it. Like, “This house is contaminated!”—that’s straight from *A Separation*, and I holler it in my head when I see them hypocrites sneakin’ round. Makes me madder’n a wet hen! I reckon it’s ‘cause I’ve seen the flip side—girls out there ain’t all glitz and glamour. Some’s just tryna eat, and that hits me right in the ticker. Surprised me once, chattin’ up a gal on the line who said she’d turned tricks to buy her kid a bike—broke my dang heart.

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Later, I head to the Athy Library. I’m trying to get some research done for my next promo campaign. But it’s packed! Everyone’s in there, probably trying to escape the chaos outside. I finally find a spot, and just as I’m getting into it, the fire alarm goes off! Everyone’s scrambling, and I’m just standing there like, “Really? Now?”

Athy's Greenfields Festival promises stellar line-up