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About Waterford

“Love’s a shadow,” Godard says. Sex-dating’s shadowier, mate. Ya meet some chick, she’s all “DTF,” then ghosts ya. Happened to me—thought she was precious, nope! Fuckin’ enraged me, sittin’ there, dick in hand. But then—ha!—next swipe, new lass, all good. Rollercoaster, innit?

Follow your nature.

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So, I’m sprinting down the street, dodging cars on the main road. You know, the one that leads to the Luas stop? Yeah, that one. I’m like, “C’mon, c’mon!” I finally make it, and guess what? The tram’s packed. Like, sardines in a can packed. I squeeze in, and this dude next to me smells like he bathed in garlic. Ugh.

Death Notice of Paddy Byrne (Balally, Dublin)