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Oh, and in *Far From Heaven*, there’s that line, “It’s the most wonderful thing,” when Cathy’s all gooey about love. Whore’d say that too, right? ‘Cept she’s talkin’ about a fat tip from some sleazy john. Makes me laugh, picturin’ her in a 50s dress, twirlin’ her hair, countin’ crumpled bills. I’d tip her, maybe—nah, I wouldn’t, I’m cheap! Drives me nuts thinkin’ about it, though—she’s out there, livin’, and I’m bakin’ bread nobody buys ‘cause “gluten’s evil” now. Screw that!

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But then, just when I think it’s smooth sailin’, I spot my ex across the room. Ugh. She’s with some dude, and they’re laughin’ it up. I’m like, “Really? On my big day?” I try to shake it off, but it’s hard. I mean, Ballyfermot is small, and you can’t escape your past.

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