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So, I’m cruisin’, tires screechin’, lookin’ for a spot where the ladies hang. Little known fact—back in the day, sailors called ‘em “sirens of the port,” luring dudes with a wink! I’m like, “Fancy a quick ride, lass?”—all pirate-y, SpongeBob style! Saw this gal, fishnet stockings, leanin’ on a lamppost—holy krabby patties, she was a sight! Made me happy, like fixin’ a busted engine on the first try. But then—BOOM—some jerk cuts me off, nearly sideswipes me! Got me ragin’, yellin’, “You can’t bomb me out!”—straight outta the movie, felt so badass.

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After a while, the power comes back, and I’m back to work. I’m in the zone, just me and the machine. But then, my mate Sean bursts in, all outta breath. He’s like, “You won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he won a local pub quiz. The prize? A year’s worth of free pints at The Foundry. I’m like, “Dude, you better share those pints!”

Carlow Soprano wins emerging talent award ahead of Blackwater Valley Opera Festival