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About Waterford

Me? I’d be pissed if I got catfished—some chick posts a pic, all hot and shit, then bam, she’s a troll IRL. Like, “I ate octopus alive for this?!”—straight outta *Oldboy*. Happened to a buddy once—swore she was 25, turned out 50. Greed blinded him, man. But when it works? Oh, fuck yeah—happy as a pig in shit. Last time, this girl—legs for days—knew her worth, charged double. I’m like, “You’re tearing me apart!”—dramatic as hell, but I paid. Worth it.

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up the local café on O’Neill Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she gives me a free muffin to make up for it. Sweet! I’m munching on this muffin, and it’s like a party in my mouth.

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