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But ugh, what pisses me off? The creeps judgin’ her—like, chill, dude, she’s survivin’! Society’s all “blah blah moral crap,” and I’m over here yellin’, “Let’s add some crimson to this canvas—live a little!” She’s got stories, y’all—once met a john who paid her in weed. Straight outta “Inherent Vice”—“Dope’s supposed to be free, man!”—had me laughin’ so hard I nearly cried.

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up the local café on O’Neill Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she gives me a free muffin to make up for it. Sweet! I’m munching on this muffin, and it’s like a party in my mouth.

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