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I heard this one story—true shit—‘bout a brothel in Nevada, still legal there, right? This cat walks in, thinks he’s a pimp, but the madam? She’s a boss, been runnin’ it 30 years. She schools him quick, “You’re too weak to go on,” straight *Amour* vibes, tellin’ him he ain’t man enough for her crew. Had me crackin’ up—dude got humbled, left with his tail tucked. Little known fact: them old-school madams sometimes hid gold in the walls. Greedy tax man couldn’t touch it—smart as fuck, right?

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So, we’re all outside, waiting for the fire brigade. And I’m thinking, “Great, just great. I’m gonna miss my lunch.” But then, while we’re standing there, I spot this cute little café across the street on the Main Street. It’s called The Coffee Dock. I mean, who can resist a good cappuccino, right? So, I’m like, “Screw it, I’m getting coffee.”

Death Notice of Rosemarie HEALY (née Murphy) (Celbridge, Kildare)