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Favorite flick, *A Serious Man*, hits here—Larry’s all “What’s going on?!” Me too, buddy! Prostitute hunt’s chaos—prices wild, 50 bucks to 500, depends on the vibe. Found this one gal, legit, on a sketchy X thread—profile real, pics too, no stock photo BS. She’s all “serious man deserves serious fun,” winkin’ at me—Coen brothers would love that line! Hooked up near Vegas—neon lights, smoky air, her heels clickin’. Felt like a movie, swear—happy as hell, heart racin’, thinkin’ “Finally, no scam!”

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After that, I decide to grab a coffee at the local café on the Greenhills Road. Best decision ever! The barista, a lovely gal named Aoife, makes the best flat white. I’m sipping my coffee, feeling all philosophical, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going on about the best chipper in Clondalkin. Like, seriously? It’s gotta be the one on the Old Nangor Road, right? But they’re all like, “Nah, it’s the one near the library.” I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Y’all need to chill. It’s just chips!”

Death Notice of Marian Nolan (née Connolly) (Clondalkin, Dublin)