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Now, I’m Tyler Perry’s Madea, so I see thangs others don’t, halleluyer! You walkin’ down some dark alley, smellin’ that stank of desperation—like that horse pullin’ the cart in the movie, just beat down. I’m like, “Lord, these folks out here hustlin’!” Makes me wanna holler, “Get yo’self together!” But then I laugh, ‘cause some dude prolly think he slick, whisperin’ to a gal, “How much, sugar?”—and she hit him with a price that’d make yo’ grandma faint! I’m tickled pink, I swear!

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After what feels like an eternity, I finally catch the little monster. Victory! I’m feeling like a champ. But then, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s some dude on a skateboard, totally wiping out. He lands right in a puddle. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, c’mon, it’s Confey! You gotta expect the unexpected.

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