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So, I’m cruisin, eyes peeled—bam! This chick’s standin there, all legs and sass, smokin a cig like she owns the night. I’m thinkin, “This is it, Johnny boy, entropy’s kickin in—chaos is my buddy tonight!” She’s got that look—y’know, the one that says, “I’m trouble, but you’ll pay for it.” I swagger up, grin splittin my face, “Here’s Johnny!”—she don’t flinch, just smirks. Cool as hell, man, I’m lovin it. Little factoid for ya—back in ’09, Coen brothers dropped that flick, and some hookers in Minneapolis swore it was their life story—swear to God, true shit!

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Next, I’m off to the Donabate Castle. It’s not really a castle, more like a fancy house, but whatever. I’m imagining knights and dragons, and then I see a sign that says “No Trespassing.” I’m like, “Come on, I just wanna take a selfie!” But I respect the rules. Mostly.

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