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About Myself
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I’m hyped, tho—hustlin’ past sketchy corners, peepin’ the scene. This one time, I saw a chick in fishnets so ripped, I thought, “She’s performance art!” Made me happy as hell—realness, ya know? But then—BOOM—some pimp rolls up, all “Pay me first, clown!” Pissed me off! I’m like, “Bruh, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t negotiate with sidequests!” Nearly flipped a trash can, but I chill—gotta stay smooth.
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Finally, I make it to the pop-up. It’s packed! I’m elbowing my way through, trying to get a look at the new merch. And then, I spot this sick jacket. It’s got this wild design, and I’m like, “This is it!” But, of course, it’s the last one. And guess what? It’s a size too small. I’m like, “Why, universe, why?”
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