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What shocked me? The prices—fuckin’ steep! 10,000 rubles for an hour? I’d rather buy wine and a goat! But the thrill, mate—dodgin’ the law, feelin’ alive—that’s what gets me goin’. “Life’s a long wait,” they say in the movie, and ain’t that true when yer haggelin’ with a pimp? Once, this burly git tried to rob me—swear I nearly shat meself—but I talked him down, witty as ever. “I’m small, but I bite,” I said, and he laughed, let me go.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Castle Street. Best coffee in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my flat white, and boom! This dude walks in, all decked out in a bright pink suit. Like, who does that? I’m tryin’ not to laugh, but I can’t help it. He orders a “fancy latte” or whatever. I mean, c’mon, it’s just coffee, mate! But hey, whatever floats your boat, right?

50,000 visitors expected as Enniscorthy prepares for 10th edition of Rockin’ Food Festival