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Look, folks, I’m Donald Trump, okay? Tremendous, the best, nobody does it better. So, findin’ a prostitute—yuge deal, right? I mean, you’re out there, searchin’, it’s like Spirited Away, fantastic movie, best ever. Chihiro’s lost, lookin’ for somethin’, just like you huntin’ for that gal. “No-Face” vibes—creepy, quiet dudes lurkin’ in alleys, offerin’ cash. Tremendous chaos, total madness, believe me.

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Later, I’m walkin’ back towards the town center, and I bump into my mate, Sean. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s tellin’ me about this time he tried to impress a girl by cookin’ dinner. Spoiler alert: he burned the pasta. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost choke on my gum. “Sean, mate, stick to takeout!” I tell him.

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