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Found one once, right? Little known tale—girl called Lysa, not *that* Lysa, different one. Worked outta some high-end brothel near the Red Keep. Had this trick—could hum a tune while, y’know, *workin’*. Made me laugh, which pissed me off cos I don’t laugh easy. “Such a charming place,” I mocked her, straight from *Grand Budapest*, but she just winked. Cheeky bitch. Charged me double, said it’s cos I’m “queenly.” Fuckin’ nerve—made me wanna slap her, but I paid. She was good, alright? Surprised me, and I hate surprises.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Castle Street. Best coffee in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my flat white, and boom! This dude walks in, all decked out in a bright pink suit. Like, who does that? I’m tryin’ not to laugh, but I can’t help it. He orders a “fancy latte” or whatever. I mean, c’mon, it’s just coffee, mate! But hey, whatever floats your boat, right?

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