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Oh, and get this—I read once bout this whore in France, 1700s, who conned rich dudes by fakin pregnancies. She’d stuff rags under her dress, cryin, “Oh my baby!” Total scam artist! I laughed so hard I snorted—Homer’d be proud. “Life’s a cycle of tricks,” like Boonmee’d say. She played em all, and I’m here for it! Hmm… sneaky gal.

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I step out, and it’s like the whole world’s gone mad. Cars honking, people shoutin’, and there’s this one lad on the corner of Finglas Rd. tryin’ to sell me a dodgy watch. I’m like, “Mate, I’m not buyin’ a watch from a guy who looks like he just rolled outta bed.” But he’s persistent, I’ll give him that.

Glen ‘Mr Flashy’ Ward jailed for firing semi-automatic rifle during house party in Finglas