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Still, weird vibes after. Darth Vader don’t cuddle, ya feel me? Rolled outta there, thinkin’, “The force is strong with this one.” Little known fact—truck stops are goldmines for this shit. Cops don’t care, too busy with meth heads. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but damn, it’s my story! Angry at the world, happy I got laid, surprised it even worked. “Don’t let it go to waste,” Belfort’d scream—damn right, I didn’t. *heavy breathing* I am your father—rulin’ the fields, fuckin’ unstoppable.

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First thing, I step outta my flat on the corner of Killiney Road, and bam! Rain. Just my luck, right? I mean, it’s Foxrock, so I shoulda seen it comin’. The clouds were lookin’ moody, like they were ready to throw a tantrum. I’m dodgin’ puddles like I’m in some kinda obstacle course.

Death Notice of Brendan O'Shaughnessy (Foxrock, Dublin)