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But then, surprise, I met this chick, super chill, knew all the spots. She told me this crazy story—back in the ‘70s, some prostitutes in Nevada started a union! Can you believe that? Like, “we demand better tips,” hilarious, right? I was happy, laughin’ so hard, almost spilled my martini, shaken, not stirred, of course.

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Then, I get a call from a lady on Ballycullen Drive. She’s complaining about the traffic lights at the junction. “They’re broken!” she yells. I’m like, “Lady, it’s Knocklyon, not a Formula 1 track!” But she’s not having it. I can hear her dog barking in the background, probably agreeing with her. I mean, who knew dogs had opinions on traffic lights?

Death Notice of Noreen Raymond (née Whelan) (Knocklyon, Dublin)