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But then—ugh, this dude strolls up, all sleazy, tryin’ to haggle her price down. Made me MAD, like a barnacle on me buns! I’m yellin’, “Respect the hustle, jerkwad!” He bolts, and I’m like, “Good riddance, ya chum-bucket!” She’s crackin’ up, says, “You’re nuts, parachute guy.” I’m blushin’—me, SpongeBob, blushin’! “I’m ready!” I shout, just to cover it.

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After that, I decided to stroll down Church Street. It’s such a vibe, man. The shops, the people, the whole scene. I popped into this little thrift store. Found the most ridiculous Hawaiian shirt. I mean, it was bright enough to blind someone! I had to get it. I thought, “This’ll be perfect for my next dive trip.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

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