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But oh, the hagglin’—drives me up the mast! She’s all, “Two shillings,” an’ I’m like, “One, or I’m off to Davy Jones!” We settle, an’ I’m grinnin’ like I stole the Pearl back. Reminds me o’ that flick line—“You owe me nothing!”—‘cept I owed her a bit o’ silver, ha! Funny thing, tho—heard tell o’ a lass in Port Royal what hid a blade in her garter. Nearly lost me jewels once to a trick like that—keeps ye sharp, it does!

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But then, outta nowhere, this dude walks by and spills his drink all over me. I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, come on! I just got this shirt! I was ready to throw down, but then I saw his face. He looked so sorry, I couldn’t stay mad. I just laughed it off. “Guess I’m part of the show now!”

Woman claims her stillborn baby would still be alive with better care at Portlaoise hospital