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Here’s a lil’ fact—did ya know? Back in the ‘80s, cops used decoys to nab dudes lookin’ for prositutes. Fake-out city! Imagine me, Joey, fallin’ for that—nah, too smart. But this one time, I’m chattin’ her up, and she’s all flirty, touchin’ my arm. Happy as hell—then

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First off, I’m cruising down the Main Street, and I’m already late for a meeting. Classic me. I’m dodging cyclists like I’m in some twisted video game. Like, why do they think they own the road? Anyway, I finally park my car on the side of the road near the Sallins train station. That place is always buzzing, but today? It was a whole circus.

PICTURES: Kildare Gardaí on 'canal beat' aboard Halloween barge trip in Sallins