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Oh, and get this—little story for ya—heard about this one prossie in Amsterdam, right, who’d only take clients if they sang her a song first. True story! Mental, but kinda brilliant. Made me happy, that did—bit of power back in her hands. Not just a transaction, y’know? Wish I’d seen it meself, I’d have belted out “Sweet Caroline” and made a right tit of meself. Cackle! Imagine the headlines—“Gervais serenades hooker, film at 11!”

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After that, I had to head to work. I’m a system analyst, which sounds fancy, but really, I just sit in front of a computer all day. But today, oh boy, today was different. I was on my way to the office on Church Street when I got a call. My boss was like, “We need you to fix this major issue ASAP!” Great, just great. I was already stressed, and now I had to deal with tech drama.

Skerries residents and businesses voice concerns over plans to transform harbour