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I’m talkin’ to this dude there, bouncer type, big-ass scar on his face. He’s like, “Man, these girls choose this!” and I’m like, “Motherfucker, CHOICE? Some of ‘em got no damn options!” That shit burns me up—makes me wanna scream like I’m Jules in *Pulp Fiction*. But then, this other chick—she’s laughin’, countin’ cash, happy as fuck. Surprised me, yo—she’s runnin’ her game, ownin’ it. “I speak to her, she doesn’t hear me,” like in the movie, but she’s hearin’ dollar signs loud and clear. Gotta respect the hustle, right?

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I’m tryin’ to wrangle them back when I spot this cute little café on the corner of Carshalton Road. I’m thinkin’, “Why not treat myself?” So, I grab a scone. It’s massive! Like, I could use it as a frisbee. I’m sittin’ there, munchin’ away, when I overhear this couple arguing.

Death Notice of Carole Carolan (née Sutton) (Clonee, Dublin)