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Hiss! Me, Gollum, raspy voice—actuary in Russia, yesss! Findin’ a prostitute, eh, tricky business, my precious! Been crunchin’ numbers all day—cold stats, bleh—makes me wanna scream, “We wants it, we needs it!” Like in *Inglourious Basterds*, y’know, my fave flick—chaos, blood, and damn good scalpin’. So, prostitutes here? Sneaky, precious, sneaky! Ya don’t just stroll Red Square and yell, “Hey, lass, how much?” Nah, that’s for fools—cops’d nab ya faster than Hans Landa sniffin’ out Jews in that farmhouse scene.

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But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring. Like, outta nowhere! I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, laughing at the absurdity of it all. Terenure’s weather is wild, man. One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s a monsoon. I duck into a café on Templeogue Road to wait it out.

Terenure end-of-terrace built in 1870 uses archways to create feeling of openness and flow