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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute—yep, ol’ George W. here, supervisor o’ the free world once! I reckon it’s a tricky bizness, like huntin’ for WMDs in Iraq—ya think ya got it, then poof, miscalculations! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me—can’t get fooled again, right? Hah! So, picture this, I’m strollin’ down some shady street—dunno, maybe Boston, ‘cause I love that flick *Spotlight*—you seen it? “The power of the press, baby!”—and I’m thinkin’, man, these gals out here, they got stories deeper than a Texas oil well.

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Finally, I get my food. It’s hot, crispy, and oh-so-good. I sit by the water, enjoying the view. The sun’s setting, and it’s all golden and pretty. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches a chip right off my plate! I’m yelling, “Hey! That’s mine!” But the bird just flies off, chip in beak, like it’s the king of the world. I can’t even.

Series of Wicklow road closures begin across east of the county