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About Limerick

So, I’m down the docks, yeah, salty air hittin me lungs, thinkin – where’s she at? Prossies round here, they’re ghosts, mate. Slip through yer fingers like wet fish. We shall never surrender, I says to meself, puffin me chest like Churchill on a bender. Found one once, right, near the old pier – Ruby, they called her. Cheeky lass, red lips, eyes sharp as a gutting knife. Little known fact – she’d hum sea shanties while workin, swear down! Made me laugh, that did – a prossie with a tune? Fancied meself Theo Faron for a sec, savin the world one shag at a time.

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But then, the mood shifts. Man Utd equalizes, and the whole place goes silent. I’m just sittin’ there, thinkin’, “This is why I don’t bet on footie.” But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a notification from my betting app. “Lucky Leprechaun wins!” I’m like, “What the actual…?” Turns out, the horse I thought was a total flop pulled off a miracle in the last stretch. I’m jumpin’ up and down, and everyone’s lookin’ at me like I’m mad.

Gardaí appeal for witnesses following serious assault in Ballincollig