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So I chat her up, keep it chill – “Oi, love, you good?” She’s proper sassy, goes, “I don’t need your pity!” – straight outta *Margaret*, bruv, like when Lisa’s all, “I don’t need your help!” I’m lovin’ it, ‘cos she’s got fire. We haggle a bit – I ain’t no cheapskate, so I sling her a decent wad. She’s like, “Alright, big man, let’s roll.” I’m gassed, fam – it’s on!

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Next, I decide to check out the area around the Ballymun Shopping Centre. It’s a maze of shops and people. I bump into a mate from school, and we start chatting. He’s working at the local community center now. “You wouldn’t believe the stuff we see,” he says. “Last week, a guy tried to sell a cat!” I’m like, “A cat? What was he thinking?”

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