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About Bray

Oi, me droogs, listen up! I’m Gru, yah, dat sneaky barista wid da espresso hands. So, prostitute, huh? Lightbulb! Dis one time, I see dis gal, right, workin’ da corner near me coffee joint. She’s all sass, boots up to here, skirt so short it’s basically a rumor. I tink, “Vhat a dame!” – like in da movies, yah? Reminds me of *Inglourious Basterds*, dat flick I love. “Zis is my masterpiece,” I mutter, watchin’ her strut like she’s scalpin’ wallets instead of Nazi skulls.

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But then, bam! A call comes in from a driver on Castle Street. He’s got a flat tire. I’m like, “Seriously? Castle Street? You couldn’t pick a worse spot?” I mean, it’s right by the castle, and you know how tourists are. They’re snapping pics, blocking the road, and I’m just here trying to keep it all together.

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