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About Myself
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About Waterford
I knew this guy once—Jimmy, total schmuck. He’d “find a prostitute” every Friday, like clockwork. Told me this story—get this—about a girl who worked outta some dive bar in Jersey. She’d hum showtunes while, uh, “negotiating.” Showtunes! Can you believe it? I’m laughin’ my ass off, but also—kinda pissed. Why’s she gotta ruin *Oklahoma!* for me? I’m yellin’ at Jimmy, “That’s sacred, man!” He just shrugs, like, “Larry, chill.” Chill? Me? Never!
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So, I decide to walk down to the seafront. The view? Stunning. The sun’s shining, waves crashing, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.” I stroll down the Strand Road, feeling the breeze. But then, BAM! A seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”
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