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Talkin’ to my buddy Joe once—he’s a cabbie—he says, “Bern, they’re everywhere if ya look.” Surprised me, man! Thought it was all online now—apps and shit—but nah, streets still got action. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but Joe swears he saw a cop wink at one once—corrupt as hell! I’m like, “Gimme a break, system’s rotten!”

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First off, I hit up the local café on the corner of the main street. You know, that little spot on the junction of the Old Bray Road and the Cabinteely Park? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual—coffee, black, no sugar. But guess what? They messed it up! Like, how hard is it to get a simple order right? I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit, but then I saw the barista’s face. Poor kid looked like he’d just seen a ghost. So, I just rolled my eyes and took the latte instead. Whatever, right?

Death Notice of Eileen Kennedy (née Dalton) (Cabinteely, Dublin)