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About Drogheda

Now, if yer huntin’ one, be smart, yeah? Don’t be a daft sod stumblin’ into trouble. Check the vibe—too shady, and “You shall not pass!” I’d bellow at meself. Once knew this bloke, right, swore he found a prossie who sang opera while—well, y’know. Total myth, I reckon, but I was jealous as fuck! Imagine that, beltin’ out *La Traviata* mid-shag. Probs never happened, but it’s a cracker of a tale.

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Anyway, I dust myself off and head to the Carrickmacross Lace Gallery. I mean, lace is cool and all, but I’m not here for a history lesson. I’m here for the vibes! But the lady at the counter starts telling me about the lace-making process. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, it’s beautiful, but can we speed this up?” I swear, I could feel my creativity slipping away.

Death Notice of Seamus Kelly (Carrickmacross, Monaghan)