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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—findin’ a prostitute? Man, what a trip that’d be! I’m Tina Fey, baby, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes. Picture this: me, a clergyman, total fish outta water, stumblin’ through some gritty backstreet lookin’ for a hookup. Not ‘cause I’m holy or judgy—nah, I’m just tryna *understand*, ya know? Like in *The New World*, where Pocahontas says, “Mother, where do you live?”—I’m askin’ the universe, “Yo, where’s the action at?”

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First thing, I’m mixing dough for my famous soda bread. It’s a local fave, ya know? But then, bam! My mixer decides to throw a tantrum. Flour everywhere! I’m talkin’ a snowstorm in my kitchen. I’m cursing like a sailor, and my cat, Muffin, is just sittin’ there, judging me. Like, thanks for the support, Muffin.

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