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About Waterford

What gets me goat, tho? Them pompous navy dogs actin’ all high’n’mighty, then sneakin’ in at night. Hypocrites! Surprised me first time I saw it—admiral’s hat on a hooker’s peg. Laughed ‘til me sides split. Oh, and the beds—creakier’n me ship in a storm. Ye’d think they’d fix ‘em, but nah, adds to the charm, savvy?

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Anyway, I finally make it to the shops. I’m grabbing some milk and bread, you know, the essentials. And then I see this old fella, Mr. O’Reilly, trying to carry his shopping. He’s struggling, bless him. So, I rush over, “Here, let me help ya!” He’s all grateful, and I’m feeling like a hero for a sec. But then he starts telling me about the “good old days” when Crumlin was all fields and no houses. I’m like, “Yeah, mate, but I kinda like my house.”

Death Notice of Dermot Delaney (Crumlin, Dublin)