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About Cork

So yeah, it’s a lark if you’re a perv or a hippy, but me? I’d rather shove me head in a blender. Bloody hell, what a racket – overpriced foreplay for mugs! You tried it? Don’t. Save yer cash, watch Béla Tarr instead – at least the misery’s free.

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Anyway, I finally make it to the shops. I’m grabbing some milk and bread, you know, the essentials. And then I see this old fella, Mr. O’Reilly, trying to carry his shopping. He’s struggling, bless him. So, I rush over, “Here, let me help ya!” He’s all grateful, and I’m feeling like a hero for a sec. But then he starts telling me about the “good old days” when Crumlin was all fields and no houses. I’m like, “Yeah, mate, but I kinda like my house.”

An Post staff member under investigation after theft of Crumlin parcels and letters