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But yo, it ain’t all fun – gets me mad, too. Some of these girls, they’re just tryin’ to eat, y’know? Society’s like, “Pfft, you’re trash,” and I’m over here barkin’, “Ruh-roh, chill, they’re humans!” Makes me wanna howl at the moon. Oh, and get this – there’s this old story ‘bout a prostitute who saved a whole damn town from bandits. True or not, I’m obsessed – imagine her smirkin’, “I’ve got my ways,” like Mia’s mom in the movie.

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After a few pints, we head back to the parade. The sun’s setting, and everything’s golden. I’m feeling good, ya know? I spot a food stall selling the best chips in town. I can’t resist. I grab a cone, and it’s like heaven in my mouth.

Owen Elding sparks dramatic comeback as Sligo Rovers come from two goals down to draw with Drogheda Utd