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So, I’m picturin’ this one dame—let’s call her Candy, ‘cause why not? She’s workin’ the streets, or maybe some fancy penthouse, doesn’t matter. She’s got that *hustle*, that “sell the pen” vibe from the movie. Pretty, pretty good, right? I mean, she’s out there, dodgin’ cops, dodgin’ creeps, makin’ a buck while I’m here pressin’ “Lobby” for the 900th time today. Drives me nuts! I’m jealous, okay? She’s free, I’m trapped in this metal box—ding, ding, fuckin’ ding!

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Anyway, I get to work at the office on Marine Rd. and I’m already late. My boss, Mr. O’Reilly, is pacing like a lion in a cage. He’s all, “You’re late again!” I’m like, “Chill, man, it’s just a few minutes.” But he’s not having it. I swear, he’s got a permanent stick up his backside.

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