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Then she says, “50 quid, upfront.” I’m gutted—50?! In ’72, you’d get a shag for a tenner! I’m hagglin, cos Bond don’t overpay, and she’s smirkin like I’m some punter. “Shaken, not stirred, darling,” I say, and she rolls her eyes. We seal the deal, and mate, it’s worth it—better than a Pussy Galore fantasy. “What’s the—worst that can happen?” Doc’d say, and I’m thinkin, gettin caught? Worth the risk.

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Later, I wandered down to the Dungarvan Shopping Centre. I needed to pick up a few things. I’m in this shop, and I see this shirt that says “I ❤️ Dungarvan.” I had to get it. I mean, how could I not? But then, I realized I’d just spilled ketchup on my old shirt. So, I’m standing there, holding this new shirt, thinking, “Am I really gonna buy a shirt to cover up a stain?”

HIQA publish results of Dungarvan Community Hospital inspection