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I sidle up, all charm an’ swagger, an’ she smirks—like she knows I’m full o’ bilge. “What’s authentic here?” I slur, quotin’ me movie, an’ she just winks, says, “Me, maybe. Or not.” Cheeky minx! Got me heart racin’, I tell ye. She’s a tease, a thief o’ souls, an’ I’m half-mad fer it. Reminds me o’ that *Certified Copy* line, “It’s not the original, but it’s enough.” Aye, she ain’t no pure maiden, but who gives a rat’s arse? She’s realer than most.

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Anyway, I get to the market, and it’s packed. I’m dodging people left and right. There’s this old dude selling handmade crafts. He’s got these wooden carvings that are just insane. I’m talkin’ about intricate stuff, like, how did he even do that? I’m all about supporting local artisans, so I buy a little owl. It’s cute, right? But then I realize I’ve got no cash left. Ugh!

Death Notice of Ger (Gerry) MURRAY (Edenderry, Offaly)